i love this song

why i dun write regularly

i dun write regularly because...

I dont know where to start

so many things happen...that I donno where to begin

Im confused. 

bored

restless

jumpy

i cant do anything if mind is not at peace

update

m here...always mean to write-but dun get own to it.hehe...

update..right now..m feeling a bit weird. see- ive been wanting to go bangkok for so bloody long. reali. there was always clashes in timing or something. quite sucky. now- i hf a chance. but the company is not great.so im not keen. but today, bu told me tat he's goin overseas- n i think- "AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH' im gona be so bloody bloody bored. reali la. n thing is- im the one who has been meaning to go overseas for the longest longest time

o i duno if i shd just go for it.

Sun Vs Star part 1

this is basically abt the sun tv vs star aka vijay tv debate. spore tv satellite companies hf been receiving both these channels from india and i hf to say- such a vast difference!

not gona blog much abt it now.......but just a small comment. the 'suriyan' tv has been reported to be ripping off quite a bit from vijay- n its pretty obvious.. from kalakkapovathu yaaru..etc. the latest one is the talk show concept. ive blogged abt liking 'koffee with anu' on vijay......... nw to the rip-off version. small thought- gowthami just aint doing it for me la. there's this certain x-factor n caracteristic one shd hf as a talk-show host. someone who is very warm, friendly (make u feel at hm type), and well read etc etc. ppl like oprah completely personify that. you cant just ride on the fact tt you were a former model (aka tyra banks) or a former tamil cinema staple (aka gowthami). just a thought.....

wandering and wondering

first of all.... deepest condolences to the families of the two east view sec boys who drowned on thursday... very very sad.. indian families as well... very sad... cant even imagine the pain the fellow schmates are going through...

its difficult to predict how things will turn out... ever... we try to keep everthing constant.. from surroundings, to ppl... to everyday activities. but no matter how much we try to plan, it does not quite work out. almost all the time.....
i have ben trying to work out some plan for myself.... but at the same time..i hf that nagging feel that i shd not try so hard.... so where do we all draw the line? btw putting in lots of effort and surrendering the future to mere faith? how much shd we leave up to divine forces? what a whirlwind concept.with many unanswered questions. As my dad put in a few years ago to an uncle who just got married and was contemplating how much time he had to put into forging bonds with the in-laws, "the key word is BALANCE". One of the wisest things i heard him say actually..(perhaps he did say more wise things before... but was too busy focusing on his nonsensical everyday behaviour...hahaha...)

so there w have it.we hfta stay sane at some point in this insane society.. hard work is impt... but at the same time we sure do need that dose of faith to ensure that some force is up there taking good care of us. don't contemplate more than that,.... may just prove to be utterly unnecessary....... hope this works for you all..

Koffee with Anu

lazy sunday morning...
just turned the channel..watching koffee with anu now
I admire this anu....... liked her from the first time i saw her in te movie 'INDIRA'... bet many of you guys caught that... (nila kaikirathu plays softly in the background.......) loved the character, he strength. Of course, strong woman roles are not welcome in the chauvanistic world of south indian cinema...n subsequently, i believe anu did not get a heroine role in cinema.she played some supporting act..older sister..etc. but this women stood out for me. coz she did not sell out n become those accessory-type heroine. and now, hosting this quality talk show, pitting up agst her guests, displaying intelligence, wit, language skill........ i like....... dare i say, she serves as a sort of role model for young indian women. MOre opportunities for these women pls!

the unusual wkend ....

i shd hf seen it coming.. true enough, i m down with a fever now.. started with that headache in class....bodyache, sorethroat........now the complete works.. sigh....
culprit? overworking.....
i took too much into my hands. got excited. tot it was a perfect distraction for many things.. tuition, drama class.. sch..everything...... what was i thinking? started off well.... now... sigh.. i started reali stressing out. kept thinking abt everything.. even the tot o wk stressed me out. still stresses me. for eg, when i m wking in morning stress abt after sch drama class. after that, there's the two tuitions. too much. at the end of the day, im so tired i can only sleep. sigh....before sleeping, i stress abt the next day. this is the reason why my hair has been falling out drastically. the reason ive been constantly having breakouts. reason why i hf no time for anyone. i dun like this.

today, supposed to take the tuition kids out for an outing.. coz they just finished their CA. feel bad abt disappointing them... in bed now....... sigh... even at home, the tension does not stop. mum yelled and cried abt me not helping with hse chores. i cd not take it....... even wen down with a fever, i get to hear all these. as u wd have gathered from my previous posts, this is a norm here. her shouting. refusal for outside help. disability to understand her daughter's work problems.. so i retire to my room. for a bit of peace.

brother leaving for aus today.another cause for tension in te hsehold. wish i cd run away to another cty.